


It's All On Me

by Toxic_Ships



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Bad Pasts, Comfort, Fluff, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-16 22:11:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15446961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toxic_Ships/pseuds/Toxic_Ships





	It's All On Me

                                                                                                            

  It wasn't fair. He was getting forced to love someone who was the farthest from perfect that a person could possibly get, and yeah I had things about me that were good, I wasn't particularly good looking but I mean I wasn't ugly. But I was a villain, I was evil, I had sided with the bad guy and now I was facing the consequences. Part of me wishes I died in the battle, then I wouldn't have to face the aftermath of what I had done, part of me died in the battle, the happy part of me died long before the battle. I was recovering though, picking up the pieces of myself that I had broken, filling in the pieces that I had lost. I was by far the most complex puzzle in existence. My pieces were scattered, parts of my pieces were chipped off, some pieces were lost, some holes couldn't be filled back in. The scariest part of this whole situation was I had no clue what was going to happen next, I didn't know who was going to hate me, or who was going to love me, or who would leave me, or who's life I would destroy in this gruesome process. But there were things that were better than before.

  My mother had ditched my father, afraid of the danger that he carried with him. It was me and her now, a part of me wished that I could run away from her. I loved my mother, but every moment I looked at her face was a moment that I had to remember the pain I went through during the battle. The pain knowing that if I didn't join Voldemort I'd be killed, but if I did join him I'd be hated forever. I was being foolish, I put my life before thousands of others. I put my life before Harry's. If I could undo one decision I've made it wouldn't be to undo the countless acts of bullying, it would be to make the sacrifice of my life that I was so desperately afraid to make. 

  After the battle my mind was different. The regret overwhelmed me to the point where some nights I just wanted to end it all, that would be easier than going back and regretting every choice I'd made. I freaked out when I heard loud noises, every time someone pulled out a wand I was fearful that they'd kill me, I thought that everyone was against me, everyone hated me. It came as quite the shock to realize that was far from the truth. 

  It came as even more of a shock to realize that the person I thought was most likely to hate me, didn't hate me. Harry Potter actually took pity on me, I'm not sure what for, I put the entire school in grave danger and he felt bad for me. Me of all people. But he didn't just feel bad, he actually told me he had feelings for me, and he had for a while. It was a literal dream come true when he said that, I mean I believe I actually did have a dream about that, it may just be my imagination though, but dreams kind of are imagination so I'm not incorrect.

  "Draco? You here?" A voice called from my window, interrupting my thoughts. I hoped that Mother wasn't home to hear the mysterious voice that I knew too well.

  "Harry, I told you already, you can't come in my room through the window! And you cannot yell, my mother still doesn't know about us." I huffed, offering Harry a hand as I shook my head at the sight of him flying by my window on his broomstick. He accepted my hand and as our skin made contact those butterflies came back, every single time we made contact those stupid butterflies came back.

  "Sorry..." He smiled guiltily as he placed a kiss on my cheek, I suddenly wished my skin wasn't so pale, because the paleness made me blush far too easily, and I desperately wished that Harry couldn't see how flustered I was.

  "Awww you're blushing!" He teased, making me roll my eyes.

  "Shut up, Potter." I mumbled, shivering at those words that I so often used to use. Some messed up part of me wished that I could still say stuff like that and mean it, I liked being able to be rude to him without feeling the guilt that was now a part of my personality.

  "That's the Draco I know!" Harry smiled, and a million more butterflies shoved themselves down my throat, crawling into my stomach, I could hear those stupid creatures snickering at my flustered face.

  "That's the Draco you knew, Harry, you don't know how guilty I feel when I say that now..." I sighed, sitting on my bed and inviting Harry to come and sit down next to me, that offer he gladly took up.

  "Hey, hey Draco." Harry whispered softly, watching my facial expression change, "I know you don't mean it in a bad way, not anymore. Honestly it's kind of nice, that seems like one thing that hasn't changed..."

  I gave him a small half-smile as I leaned my head on his shoulder. My head was throbbing painfully as I yawned, the comfort of me against him was enough to keep my head from killing me. He slung his arm over my shoulder, the feeling of protection that he gave me was comforting, I loved him so much. 

  "Sorry..." I muttered, wiping my face of the wetness that I felt pooling in my eyes. The palm of his hand gently cupped my cheek as he turned my head to face him, his face turned to the side as he brought his lips to mine. The softness of his lips was a feeling I had never imagined I would feel. My problems flooded into him and his into mine. It wasn't a bad feeling but it was strange, the way that a contact that seemed so simple could be so complex, so healing. I melted into Harry's arms, letting him hold me, just for a moment, we didn't know how much time we had in this world, but we didn't care, not in this moment. I forgot it all as I got lost in his lips, I forgot every ounce of pain I've felt, I forgot every bad moment I'd ever had, it was just him. Just us. Only us.

 I felt empty as our lips parted, I wanted us together. I wanted our lips together again, I wouldn't trade that feeling for the world, for the universe, for everyone in existence, I just wanted Harry. Just him.

  "Was that okay?" Harry asked, reaching out to run his fingers through my hair, that now (thanks to Harry) was messed up. I couldn't help but smile at the thought that he was asking that, he actually cared. He really did care...

  "Better than okay, Po-Harry." I smiled uncontrollably, I buried my head in his shoulder, avoiding his gaze and laughing.

  "Holy fuck Malfoy, that was adorable." He laughed, grabbing my chin and carefully guiding my head so our eyes made contact. I shivered at his gentle expression, the way he looked at me was perfect, he was perfect. Something about his expression was inexplicable. I didn't know how to describe the way he looked at me, the way his gaze seemed to protect me. Dementors would know not to hurt me if that gaze was given to me in front of them. It was perfect. 

  I smiled softly as he used his grip on my chin to turn my head to the side, our lips only inches away from each other. He moved his thumb up to my lip, pulling my lip down in an experimental way, but if he knew how that truly made the butterflies go wild he'd probably do that much more often. I felt a warmth spread against the side of my stomach as a hand made its way beneath my shirt, grasping for the softest area of skin that could be found. His fingers were calloused and peeled, yet against the softness of my skin they felt perfect, two pieces of a puzzle, two pieces that were broken. Once our pieces broke they fit. A loss to form a gain. He moved his thumb out of the way so our lips could meet, the sweetness of the kiss was cut short by an overpowering hunger, a need for more, more than just lips.

  And I knew Harry felt this ever growing sense of hunger too when I felt a tongue prying at my lips, begging for them to part again so I could let him in, and because I wanted exactly what Harry wanted I granted his wish and parted my lips, letting his tongue slip in between. I smirked against his lips, slipping my tongue by his and into his mouth. It was a strange feeling, a first for me, Harry had probably done this before. It was some sort of exploration between us. Exploring each other's mouths, I'm sure I'd be well acquainted with his mouth soon enough, but for know it was an unknown territory. But for now I wasn't gonna be cautious, I would let him explore me and I would explore him. I loved this feeling more and more the longer it went on, him and me, Draco and Harry, Harry and Draco. The kiss ended in only a couple moments, a string of saliva still connected our mouths, until Harry finally moved his lips.

  "Hey Draco?" Harry whispered, peppering kisses along my jawline.

  "Keep doing that Potter and I will probably melt into a pool of water..." I whimpered, feeling the way his lips were wet after the previous events.

  "Then melt, Malfoy, loosen up." He chuckled, not knowing how amazing those words made me feel.

  That night we never ventured out of my comfort zone, we never did anything that I wasn't quite comfortable with, we just kissed and kissed some more. I melted into Harry's arms as promised, and he held me there. He massaged my back when I complained about how stressed I was feeling, and did anything in his power to make me happy. And with him, I actually felt happy. Every moment with him was perfect.

 


End file.
